another one bites the dust...

For all of you following the fish fiasco...yet another one died this morning. So we have one left, one dead and one "in a special tank at Petco to help it breathe better" that I will go pick up later this week (wink, wink)...hey you'd do it too anything to avoid tears these days!

croup

The last time Michael was on a big deployment was when we were in Maine. Molly was 6, Gracie 4 and Jack 2. As I type that I find it hard to believe!! I will never forget Easter weekend there. Michael was gone and we were living on Cousin's Island. Great house on the water but fairly secluded. Most of our friends were in Brunswick which was about a 25 minute drive.
So Night one...Gracie wakes up with croup at 1 in the morning. It does not get better so a trip to the ER will be needed. The one friend we have in town is gone for the weekend of course, so I have to call someone in Brunswick to come take care of the other two. Thank heavens for the Ericksons! Rookie drove down in the middle of the night to be with Molly and Jack.
When Gracie and I returned Rookie was getting the other two breakfast and they were all having a jolly time.
Two nights later I hear the dreaded hack cough yet again. At this point I'm so tired I'm thinking it's all in my heard right?? I check on Gracie and she's sleeping soundly. Whew it's just me. Then I hear it again. This time it's Jack. I take him outside, try the shower and nothing is working. So it's off to the ER I go again.
This time our friends in town are home so I pack up Molly and Gracie and take them to their best friends house. They're thrilled to be having a sleep over with friends, and Jack and I head to the ER yet again.
Thank god my kids don't have bruises or I would have been thrown in jail that night!

So, why do I bring up that story at this point??? Last night at 1am Gracie appeared in my room with that scared look in her eyes because she couldn't breath. Oh before I continue on that part I should fill you in on my other child whose umbilical cord was never severed. Every night Jack begs to sleep with me if I say no, he wanders up in the middle of the night. When I get up to pee (and these days it's every two hours) he follows me into the bathroom, sits on the rug half asleep and waits for me to finish. When I leave the room in the house he yells for me just to know where I am. Dear lord, how do I break the news to him that I'm married. If he were a grown man I could have him arrested for stalking! So you get the picture, he is very much so a mama's boy...however, when dad is home, he wants nothing to do with me!

Back to Gracie...Jack is of course asleep in my bed, Molly is asleep and Carol was working evenings. I take Gracie downstairs with a plan to get her out in the night air. Jack is totally disgruntled and pissed that his sister's lack of breathing is getting in the way of his sleep. God forbid he goes to bed alone! So the three of us parade downstairs.

Carol is home thank goodness and helps us get coats. Jack just stands in the background half awake and not happy. Gracie and I head outside and she starts to feel better. I can tell she's feeling better because she's sitting on my lap and informs me that she's going to put her head down, but don't worry she's not dead, just resting.

On our way in the house Jack is standing right inside the door. He looks at Gracie and I and says, "don't let that happen again...". I thought, "oh thank god, he does have some scrap of humanity in him, he's concerned about his sister". Then he finishes his sentence, "...close the door I'm freezing". Ahhh sweet. Without pause Gracie pipes in with, "Jack we didn't do it to freeze you, we did it so I wouldn't die".

These are the stories that keep me going. I could choose to feel sorry for myself, or laugh at the craziness of it all. I choose laughter thank you very much!

Fish Fiasco..

Let me start by saying deception is exhausting. This fiasco started on Sunday. After week one without dad the kids asked if they could get a fish. Due to allergies to cats, and dogs, phobias of anything reptilian and a variety of other whacked out issues I have with pets, fish are about the only possibility. Fully expecting me to say no, they freaked out when I said sure.
So Sunday we head to Petco. Little did I know that very soon the staff at Petco would know me better than most of my friends. I think after this experience I am required to send Christmas cards to them annually.
When we get to the store I decide this time we are going to do it up! No goldfish in a bowl for this family. I'm getting a 10 gallon tank with a filter and heater. This is big time. Now I should preface all this with I am not good with fish. When I was 12 my fish committed suicide. Thing jumped out of the tank just to get away from me (wouldn't a therapist have a ball with that one).
So we pick out the tank and all the kids agree (surprise, surprise) on getting a fish called a dalmation Molly, not just one, but two. One is black with white dots and the other is white with black dots. Ok, it's all going well...then we talk to the "specialist" who tells us you really need to set up the tank and let it run at least 24 hours before adding any fish. Poor Gracie was devastated, but they all accepted the fact that we would wait.
Once we get home they all help to set it up and we begin the wait for the new additions to the family.
Monday I decide to surprise them. While they are at school I go to pick up the fish. I ask about getting two dalmation Mollys and to my shock they tell me that females can have as many as 60 babies at a time and you don't see it coming. Ahhhh, no, just give me the boys thank you. There's only one boy in the tank so I take him.
The kids are thrilled. Jack is mostly thrilled because there is finally another boy in the house. Six hours later "Spots" starts to act a little funny. All the kids notice and are glued to the glass. Gracie is crying and begging the fish not to die. I'm just pissed because this means I have to start all over. Once "Spots" bites it I get a lecture from Gracie on why I should care more about fish. I'm begining to think gettting a fish was a bad idea. Personally I think all the estrogen in this house killed him.
Tuesday morning I got back to Petco with "Spots" and a sample of the tank water. Come to find out Dalmation Mollys are not "hardy" fish. Hmmm, thanks for telling me on Monday. The water is tested and fine, so it must be that Spots just died from stress...can't imagine how having three kids turning the tank lights on and off and constantly pressing their faces up against the tank would stress out a fish to death, but OK.
I find a couple options of "hardy" fish and find the perfect one (or so I thought). Tetras. Not just any tetra, it comes in 3 different colors and they are school fish so you should get more than one. Ah ha! One orange, one red and one green. Perfect!!! The kids are thrilled. Everyone is happy.
Wednesday all fish are swimming it looks good...But wait, Wed night Molly and Jack's fish are looking a little slow. SHIT!
Thursday morning I wake to find 2 dead fish caught in the filter. AHHHH! So I leave the light off in that part of the kitchen. I cannot go through more crying about fish. I decide not to say anything. I scoop the dead ones out with a plan to rush the kids to school and pick up two more fish...hee, hee they'll never know. I still don't know if I did that for them or me..
So, on the way out the door Molly is checking out the fish and says, "mom, I can't find my fish". Quickly I say, "he's sleepin' come on we have got to get to school...".
Another trip to Petco...test the water, a little high in amonia so I buy something to clean the water, pick up reading on "The Nitrogen Cycle" that the aquarium has to complete in order to have healthy fish. And two more fish identical to the ones that are now dead. What the hell? I'm beginning to think a dog would be easier. I'll just live with oxygen straped to my face! By the way, I have now spent about $200 on these fish!
OK, I get home before getting the kids replace 20% of the tank water with the new water that has been treated and is the same temp. as the tank water, allow the new fish to float in the bag ontop of the tank to adjust to the new temp. What am I forgetting? I don't think anything, oh don't forget to add the conditioner to the new water to take out the chlorine. All is well. I add the new ones to Gracie's fish and viola, the kids will never know. Damn I am tired now.
The kids come home and notice that Jack and Molly's fish are hyper. I tell them I added some medicine to the water and they are just excited. However, Gracie's is a little slower now. ARE YOU FRICKEN KIDDING ME?? Thursday night we head to school for Open House. We get home at 8 and I rush the kids upstairs knowing full well that Gracie's fish is dead.
Call Petco...open till 9. OK, Carol will help get the kids ready for be while I rush out to get a new orange fish. After digging I find the dead one and race to Petco yet again!
This time the water is still fine, just going through the "stress" part of the cycle!!!! These are fish people. I have seen nasty goldfish bowls with no filter and cheerios floating on top and the fish is still living after 2 years, one water change and being fed once a month. What the hell am I doing wrong???
So Kathy (yes we are on a first name basis now) at Petco tells me to just wait 3 to 5 days until I put any more fish in. So I sit here with two fish in the tank trying to think of a way I can decieve Gracie so I don't have to see her cry. I'm thinking about telling her he had to go to rehab at Petco...Hmm. School is out in one hour and I know she will notice that her fish is missing...
For all those people who wonder what stay at home moms do all day...this has taken up 5 days of my life and I now have 15 more gray hairs.

'

Let the journey begin...

So we have been back in the States for about 5 months now. From September to January Michael was learning Dari (one of languages spoken in Afghanistan) in Washington D.C. The kids and I have been living with Michael's mom, Carol in Syracuse. We were thinking yet another move to yet another school would be hard for the kids, so we brought them back to the school and place they knew before we went to Germany.
Michael has been driving 6 hours on weekends to be with us for less than two days and then leaves around 4 pm on Sundays to get back to D.C. and hopefully got some of the homework done that needs to be done before Monday. Every weekend he tries to beat his time snowstorm or tornado he was home every weekend.
The next move is to Indiana for him. He completed his Dari class (and did very well, although he'll never tell you that) and the next place is Indiana. There he will train with the other PRT COs and eventually his whole unit. He basically has to learn to "play Army". They shoot guns, roll Humvees (how the hell do you spell that), and whatever else.
He will be there until March 21st. The Navy has graciously given him 5 days off to come home for the baby to be born...oh yea, in the midst of our crazy lives, God thought it would be a good idea to stir the pot even more and add another Murnane to the world!! And it's a girl...poor Jack. So he will come home for the birth, back to Indiana to learn to play and then home for a week in June then off to his beach vacation until the following June.

A comforting realization

Since the "crazy orders" became a realization for Michael and I, I have been thinking a lot of how this will affect the kids. Jack has moved 7 times since he was born, this will be Molly's 5th school (going into 4th grade) and Gracie has never had the pleasure of returning to a school the following year. Kids are resilient, but there is a limit.

Michael had to leave for Italy for a couple days so it's been the 4 of us trying to survive without dad. Times like this you begin to see just how much help he is when he's home. Damn, I was hoping I would realize he doesn't do much and the time away will be a cinch...no such luck.

The three of them always hate to see him go and count down until his arrival home. They adapt quickly and go about their lives doing what needs to be done to make time pass. When I try to make jokes on his behalf to make us laugh, they ALWAYS side with him and turn the joke on me...loyal little critters!

The past two nights that Michael has been gone Jack has insisted on sleeping with the girls and they have happily agreed. At times you can hear screeching in the room fighting over Polly Pockets or Barbies, but for the most part, they get along. I have been lucky enough to stumble upon some of their bedroom conversations. One night Molly was explaining the World Wars to Gracie and Jack. I sat and took notes outside the door. She knew a lot more than me. Last night's conversation...godparents. According to Molly, if Michael and I die Gracie will go live with the Grants, she with the Rookies and Jack with Madison and Mark. I have to wonder if Amanda will mind Madison moving in to help take care of Jack or if Mark will move in with Madison:)

The girls got to come with me to pick Jack up from school yesterday. From inside the garden (playground) Jack saw the girls and was so excited he was jumping up and down and waving to them. The girls stood at the fence and waited there until Jack could come out. When he finally was able to come out the three of them hugged like it had been years since they had seen each other.

This morning the kids fought over who knows what but when we got in the car to go to school all is forgotten. I drop the girls off at school, hug and kiss them both and I'm on my way. Driving away as I look in the rearview mirror I see they are holding hands just as they do everyday when they walk into school. To me it's as if they're telling the world that together they can get through anything.

And so it hits me. They are going to be just fine. The biggest and best gift we gave them to prepare them for the next two years was not our superior parenting, but each other.

Playtime's over :(

Over the past 13 years in the military Michael and I have had our ups and downs. We have been through four 6 month deployments, and several week/month long detachments while on the ship. We have lived in 5 different states, 2 different countries and moved a total of about 8 times (that I can remember). We have been apart for birthdays, holidays, even Jack's birth (well, I was there he was the one that was missing). But now we are coming upon the biggest challenge the Navy has given us thus far.
Michael has been selected for command. Which is great news. Basically it means 1. the Navy wants to keep him around just a little longer, 2. He's still in the running to make Captain before he retires. There are several different command positions. One of which would be returning to P3s. However, Michael was chosen for something completely different than what we are used to. He has been chosen to take command of an Army unit in Afghanistan. His job will be to oversee reconstructing parts of the country. Although he is up to the challenge and will be INCREDIBLE at this job, it's going to be rough. He will need to go to language school for 4 months (in D.C.), 2 months of Army training (somewhere in one of the Carolina I think) and then 12 months in Afghanistan. As of right now, we have no idea where the family will be during his schooling and year in Afghanistan, but we will find out soon I'm sure.
To make things a little more challenging and sad as well, the Navy needs him soon. WE will have to leave Germany in October 2010. That means the kids and I will have only had 10 months here. We were thinking it would be 3 years. Instead of being mad or pointing fingers at the Navy, we have chosen to be thankful for what we have had. An amazing opportunity that we would not have had without the Navy.
I know we can do this. It will be a rough road at times, but we are a strong family.
Being in Germany for a "joint tour" I have come across so many Army families whose spouses are gone for 12 to 18 months. I remember the first friend Molly made told us her dad had been gone 6 months and she still had 6 more to go. I immediately thought, "no matter how bad our 6 month deployments are, thank god we will not have to do that". Ha! oops! These Army families are incredible though. They have been a source of inspiration for me.
And so...I'm starting yet another blog. If interested join me, I'll write the good, the bad and the ugly. It will be an interesting 18 months!!